Elementary school fable features little Michele Bachmann

This one is weird. It appeared in the Missourian. It's a weird "elementary school allegory" that casts our federal legislators as grade school children arguing during recess. The kids from "Ms. Burro's" class are the Democrats (Burro=donkeys/Democrats, get it?) and the kids from "Ms. Packaderm's" class are the Republicans (Pachyderm=elephants/Republicans, got that?) The story features little Johnny B. (John Boehner), little Nancy Pelosi, and little Michele Bachmann. "South Democracy" is, I guess, the southern states of the US.

Legislative recess, elementary style
Wednesday, August 12, 2009 | 12:01 a.m. CDT
BY Andrew Del-Colle

“Can’t you read?” little Nancy Pelosi snarled as she pointed at the red kickball tucked under her arm. “It says Ms. Burro’s Class Only!”

Johnny B. turned to the small caucus of his fellow classmates that had gathered behind him on the blacktop. “Just because there’s more of them doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be allowed to play, too!”

An eruption of cheers and jeers nearly drowned out Nancy’s response. “What are you going to do about it, 'Complainer' Boehner,” she teased.

Recess had just begun, but the feud between Ms. Burro’s and Mr. Packaderm's fifth-grade classes was a daily ritual that was starting to become somewhat of a problem at South Democracy Elementary School.

“I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” Johnny B. retorted. “We’ll tell everyone that you hate South Democracy, and that you are planning to steal everybody’s lunch money.”

Nancy knew he wasn’t bluffing. Over his shoulder she could see Michele Bachmann on the other side of the playground hawkishly perched on the slide. Even Michele’s own classmates disliked her, but her knack for spreading titillating gossip and writing scurrilous notes made her a valuable ally...

The Missourian is a community news organization directed by professional editors and staffed by Missouri School of Journalism students.